Last month, model and activist Chrissy Teigen announced that she and her husband, musician John Legend, lost their baby. The news came days after the 34-year-old mother was admitted to the hospital with severe bleeding. This week, she released a personal essay to share more details about her heartbreaking miscarriage.
“I’m not sure I’ll ever forget the experience,” Teigen wrote in the esssay she posted on Medium.
Teigen’s Initial Announcement
“We are shocked and in the kind of deep pain you only hear about, the kind of pain we’ve never felt before,” she wrote in her initial announcement. “We were never able to stop the bleeding and give our baby the fluids he needed, despite bags and bags of blood transfusions. It just wasn’t enough.”
Teigen explained that while they don’t normally name their children before birth, for some reason they “had started to call this little guy in my belly Jack.” She then offered a heartbreaking apology to their child.
“To our Jack – I’m so sorry that the first few moments of your life were met with so many complications, that we couldn’t give you the home you needed to survive. We will always love you.”
While plenty of fellow celebrities and fans sent love and support to the grieving family, others attacked the couple for sharing photos from their heartbreaking loss. Teigen addressed both responses in her latest essay.
Opening Up in New Essay
“I didn’t really know how I would start this, no matter the room or state I was in, but it feels right to begin with a thank you,” Teigen wrote.
As mentioned previously, Teigen explained that she had been struggling with bleeding throughout her pregnancy. After she spent a couple nights at the hospital, her doctor told her it was time to say goodbye.
“Late one night, I was told it would be time to let go in the morning,” Teigen wrote. “Even as I write this now, I can feel the pain all over again. Oxygen was placed over my nose and mouth, and that was the first picture you saw. Utter and complete sadness.”
Teigen had instructed Legend to take photos throughout her hospital stay. Despite his hesitancy, Legend complied and took the photo Teigen would eventually post on social media.
“I cannot express how little I care that you hate the photos,” Teigen wrote. “These photos aren’t for anyone but the people who have lived this or are curious enough to wonder what something like this is like. These photos are only for the people who need them. The thoughts of others do not matter to me.”
Teigen wrote, “Jack will always be loved, explained to our kids as existing in the wind and trees and the butterflies they see. Thank you so much to every single person who has had us in their thoughts or gone as far as to send us your love and stories. We are so incredibly lucky.”