As if chestnuts weren’t enough, now you can buy Santa cookies at Target that, well, resemble a certain extension of a man’s anatomy. That’s right, a penis cookie.
It’s a boxed set of three circular chocolate cookies decorated with icing to look like Santa. The top cookie is Santa’s head, the middle his body, and the bottom his shoes. But are they really his shoes? Or is there something suspiciously sexy going on with that bottom cookie?
“I would not send these [cookies] to school,” mother of two Suzie Fromer told the New York Post. “Definite design fail!”
Fromer posted a picture of the provocative pastry on Facebook, where her neighbor, Mai Spurlock Sykes, got a look at the goods. Sykes, also a mom, said, “What the hell is Santa’s penis doing there?”
What the hell is Santa’s penis doing there? It’s a question as old as Christmas itself. And now moms across America are wondering what Target was thinking. Some are tickled. Some are flummoxed. And some are downright saddened to find that their new favorite cookies have a shlong on them.
Target Penis Cookie — Close Up
Here’s what the bottom cookie looks like. Again, it’s supposed to be Santa’s boots. But to the discerning and perverted eye, the feet look like…well, there are two of them, so you know. And from the feet it, uh, goes up from there. Here’s a closeup.
“Such a great treat to have on hand for parties…or school events.” That’s what mother of four Nicole Miller wrote in one of her Facebook groups. She had just purchased a pack of Target’s Santa cookies and she was delighted with them.
But it didn’t take long for Miller’s world to shatter. Other people in the group started noticing the dirty, dirty bottom cookie. And they weren’t shy about letting Miller know.
“My friends pointed out Santa’s boots – which I then couldn’t unsee,” Miller told the New York Post.
Mother of two, Jola Burnett, wondered how it was possible that nobody at Target discovered the mistake.
“I mean, how on Earth were those cookies able get so far down the [production] line?” she said.
Seriously. Does Target not know what a ding-a-ling looks like?
For their part, Target told the New York Post that they hadn’t heard anything about their accidentally erotic cookies until the Post brought it up. Apparently, not a single customer had contacted them.
“The design is intended to represent Santa’s boots,” Target insisted. “We appreciate the feedback and will take it into consideration moving forward.”
If you don’t want to give out shmekel cookies this Christmas, you’ll be happy to hear there’s an alternative. Target’s snowman cookies are just as cute and are boxed the same way, with a head snowball, a middle snowball, and a…oh nothing. Must be my filthy imagination.