It’s one of the most googled LGBT terms: “My Kid Came Out Now What”? While we covered things parents should do when their teenager comes out in detail, sometimes you just need a quick guide. So, here you go.
1. Give Them a Hug
Your initial reaction to the news will impact your child for life. Remember that this is really their story — not yours. “Yes, there will be challenges ahead, for your child and for you, but let your child walk away from the conversation knowing that they are loved and feeling like everything will be okay,” Michael Anthony-Nalepa, a licensed psychotherapist with a specialized degree in LGBT affirmative psychotherapy tells Parentology.
2. Be Fair — to Everyone
Hold your queer son or daughter to the same standards as their straight siblings. For example, if your house rule is not to allow girlfriends or boyfriends stay overnight, apply the same rules to your gay child. Or if you allow for your straight child to bring
My Kid Came Out, Now What? — Continue reading
3. Know Your Queer Terms
Being versed in the most current terms for gender and sexuality will help with both your education and your conversations. Parentology created a guide with terms and definitions for gender and sexuality that are super helpful to parents.
4. Listen to Their Fears
According to Mental Health America, one in five teens is clinically depressed, and Healthline reports that LGBT kids between the ages of 7-12 are twice as likely to commit suicide.
So, talk to our kids. There are many common fears teens experience, but knowing they have a supportive parent can help. And if they don’t want to talk to you about these things, definitely seek counseling or outside help. (Read on for more info.)
My Kid Came Out, Now What? — Continue reading
5. Seek Counseling & Support — for Everyone
Find a therapist, psychologist, or support group so your child can talk about their feelings and navigate the coming out process. If they’re struggling with their gender identity, this will also help them see that they’re not alone and there is a way forward. Many schools offer a Gay / Straight Alliance or would be willing to start one up if you and your child came forward.
You need to talk it out, too. Parents, Family, and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG) is a national support and advocacy group primarily for parents of LGBT people. They have hundreds of local chapters. Going to a meeting doesn’t mean you have to start marching in Pride parades; it will just give you a place where you can share your concerns with other parents who know what it’s like to have a child come out.
FINAL THOUGHTS — Homophobia and “The Right Way” to Be Gay